Cheers to 28 years

Happy 28th Birthday bestie.

Wish you were here so we can celebrate together, but I know Johnny boy and my beautifulz are gonna spoil you rotten in Hawaii...:)

Thank you so much for EVERYTHING you have done for me and my LiL family.

I love you so so sooooooooooooo much to NO END!

Now go get drunk and smoke a blunt for the both of us Aahhahaha...

WORST WEDNESDAY EVVVEERRR!!

TODAY IS ONE OF THOSE DAYS....UGH! I JUST WANT TO SCREAM AND RIP MY HAIR OUT!! I WANT TO DRIVE AND NEVER EVER STOP AND IF I DO STOP, I PRAY IT'S SOMEWHERE FAR FAR FROM HERE!!! I WANT TO GET THE HELL AWAY FROM HERE!!!

Letting It Go

[[ I'm going to keep this short and simple]]

If you know me, you know that I am a very stubborn person. It's pretty bad if you ask me. I can hold a grudge for a long time. Lately, I've come to realize that, my attitude and being stubborn doesn't get me anywhere in life. These last couple months, okay let's be real from the month of January up to like last month August [[that's exactly eight months straight]] Nothing but drama been popping off LEFT and RIGHT. I've never in my life been in so much drama and HATED someone so bad EVER.

IT WAS CRAZY!!!!!

Well, these couple weeks I've been thinking a lot about my life, OUR life to be exact, family, friends, people that I had so much anger towards and just LIFE period. I've come to conclusion that: Life is too short and precious to hold any grudges against anyone.

So today, I decided to call Mele and Lola [[ Juniors girl cousins, the main two that I had so much anger and animosity towards for the last 8 months]], but they didn't answered, so I decided to text them apologizing about all the drama that's been going on... whether if I was right or wrong, or they were right or wrong. I knew in my heart that it was the right thing to do to bring peace, comfort, closure with myself.

It's up to them to forgive me, I'm not expecting them to. I'm not expecting them to be my bestfriend or talk to me, NO I DON'T. That's not the reason why I did what I did. I honestly didn't have to do what I did, BUT I WANTED TOO.

In order for me to move on with my life, choose the right and forgive myself, I gotta do what I gotta do and that is to FORGIVE others:)

hErE wE gO aGaIN

Daddy starts his new shift tonight... From ten p.m. to seven in the morning.

So back to sleeping by myself again. Junior worked this shift when we lived in Washington and I hate it so so SO MUCH.

The only reason why he wanted to go back to graveyards is because he would get a higher pay, which will help us out A LOT with our bills.

I am so very grateful and thankful to have such a good husband that cares about me and our son, that will literally give up anything for his family.

I love you so much baby, thank you so much for everything; for being such a hard working man and providing for us. Even though I can be a pain in the ass, your love for me will never change and that's why I LOVE YOU WITH ALL MY HEART.

i miss you.

**Birthday Shout Out**

Happy Birthday Great Grandma Ma'ava...

Love and Miss you so much... TiLL we meet again mama:)

goTTa MaMa?!

Yep, that's right..

Mama is finaLLy here in Utah, but she ain't staying for good just visiting...BOO!

She hates it here already, I swear this lady LoL..Gotta LOVE her tho:)

WE FINNAH EAT GOOD THE NEXT COUPLE MONTHS, SAMOAN FOOD THAT IS:) Ahahahaha...

... Big Boy Status...

Guess who started school?

Yeeuup!! You guessed right!! De'Shawn's first day of preschool was yesterday, he is in the afternoon class which is from 12:30pm to 3:30pm.

I can't believe my baby is NOT a baby anymore, but in my book NO MATTER how old he gets.. I wiLL FOREVER call him my baby.

De'Shawn's first day went very well. De'Shawn's teachers [[Mrs. Benson and Mrs. Magum]] allowed the parents to stay with they're children for the whole first day of school, just so the child can get comfortable and familiar with the teachers and classmates. I absolutely lov'd it. If I could I WOULD so go with him to school everyday, but I did volunteer twice a month to help out in his class, I know I'm such an AWESOME Mom, right?!:)

Shawn is a very shy boy [[ he gets that from his daddy]], Junior and I thought he wasn't gonna participate in anything because he's so shy, but he was very excited, asking questions left and right like DAYUMMMM GINA!! Lmao.
He did such an awesome job listening, paying attention, sharing, and getting to know the other kids. It was like he was NEVER shy before ahaha.... So NOT complaining LoL

Junior and I didn't cry on his first day because we spent the whole day with him in his class,but on the second day... yah that was a different story. It was really really hard for me to let him go. So before we dropped De'Shawn off to school, Jr and I made a deal to just walk in and walk out so it wouldn't be as hard for US and for HIM. Uh ya, that didn't go as planned. Junior went in kissed and hugged him and went straight outside, but than there was me;/.

Kissed.. Checked Hugged.. Checked turned to walk out, but couldn't;(... Standing by the door saying, "Bye baby, see you later" OVER and OVER and OVER AGAIN, "trying" to NOT shed a tear was pretty hard and emotional for me.

Shawn: "Go mama Go. I'm okay."

[[ Uh Ya, that made me cry even mORE.]]

ME: "K baby Mommy loves you. See you after school k... I LOVE YOU Shawn."

Teacher: "He'll be okay, We're gonna have lots of fun together."

ME: [[ literally getting louder]] "Bye baby I Love you. Shawn I Love you!!"

[[ i know ALL bad. Call me DRAMATIC.. I don't care, I couldn't let him go]] It was REALLY hard. Especially when De'Shawn and I have a special bond together. We're ALWAYS together, ever since day one. Letting him go was literally the hardest thing I've ever done in my life. Oh gosh just imagine when he goes to school fulltime, I'll probably go crazy LoL..

Besides all that dramaticNESS lol. I am so happy my baby boy started school after waiting on the waiting list for like thee longest time EVER. We're very excited to see him grow up in this crazy world we live in and succeed in life. No matter what WE will be his #1 Supporter.

When he's HAPPY, We're happy and that's ALL that matter's.

WeLL, It's about that time to pick my handsome up from schooL, can't wait to hear all about his day...

Have a Blessed day my beauitfulz♥

Here are Some pictures of OUR handsome Big Boy... ALL GROWN UP!!

[[FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL]]

[[SECOND DAY OF SCHOOL]]

Happy First and Second Day of PreschooL baby

WE LOVE YOU SO MUCH.

... A year ALREADY!?!...

I can't believe it's been a year TODAY since We lived here in BOOOOOO-TAHHH. A year since I haven't seen my family[[ insert sad face]]. I swear it felt like just yesterday we were loading our uhaul to move here up. It's crazy how time flies so freak'N fast o_O. I miss my family so much ESPECIALLY my Grandma.

This is when I wish I worked for an airline so I can fly home on my days off or every weekend/ holidays or when I'm irritated with my husband HA.[[ I LOVE YOU BABY BOO]]. And maybe I just want to get the hell away from this suicidal state. I know... DRAMATIC MUCH!.

There are times when I'm by myself I cry and think about the good ol days, like joking around with my cousins knowing that No One is gonna take it to heart. Laughing till our stomaches hurt, crying together/ being there for one another, vent sessions, family dinners/get togethers, fight and make up, just EVERYTHING... I MISS THEM SO MUCH.

I can't wait to see my family again, it's been long OVERDUE.

To my ♥ in Washington..

I LOVE AND MISS YOU GUYS EVERYDAY, JUST KNOW THAT NO MATTER THE DISTANCE YOU GUYS WILL FOREVER HAVE A PLACE IN MY HEART NO MATTER WHAT... I LOVE YOU GUYS TO PIECES.

XOXO, Tiajavay