This is one of the hardest sadiest blogs I'm about to write so bare with me... I'm seriously balling my eyes out trying to keep myself together;(...ugh.... HONESTLY, I don't even know where to start, but i guess I'll just write whatever comes in mind and go with the flow. HERE I GO... My boy's and I are packing and getting our stuff ready to move back to Utah. I told my husband and i PROMISED myself that I wasn't going to move back till my school is ALL done& finished with, but I guess that didn't go through. When we came back from the Toilolo's Family Reunion my husband was ready to move back home because he missed his family so much...I felt really bad because I NEVER seen him so sad and actually cried to me about how he felt and what he wanted to do... and that's what he wanted to do... move back to Utah to be with his family, but he wanted me to be on the same page as him. I didn't know what to say so without thinking I said, " Yes, we'll move back." Just because I can't stand to see my boy's look/feel so sad or just knowing that something is hurting them. That's one thing about me, I always put my husband and son before anything or anyone no matter what. It didn't hit me till NOW...our last week in Washington trying to get our jobs, school, baby's stuff transfer. Packing saying goodbye to our very first apartment as a family together. This is so hard for me sometimes I can't even think straight or breathe.
Our plan is all jacked up. I told my husband I hope this is a good idea.... I don't want to regret anything when we get to Utah. But as always Jr feeding me with all the good stuff and more I just want to leave. I'm so worried because I don't want to quit school or have to start over when I get to Utah. I don't want to live with my inlaws ( NOTHING AGAINST MY INLAWS), but now that we finally live on our own, have our own little space to do whatever and whenever we want is the best feeling ever. I refuse to live with anyone else or downgrade Unless I really have too, you know what I mean?... Anyways, As it get's closer for us to leave Washington, families, and friends my heart aches ...( wiping my tears)... It makes me want to change my mind about leaving, but I can't. I worry so much about EVERYTHING it's crazy. My family and friends tell me all the time that I think too much and that I need to relax, but that's just me...it comes natural to me whether if it's family, friends, just anything and everything let it be known I will worry about it... wierd, but that's just how I am. This move is the biggest thing on my shoulder right now besides all the other important stuff it's literally driving me nuts... so not funny. Everyday I try to be positive and not so much negative about this whole situation. So I'm gonna pray about it and leave it in God's hands... wish us luck!:)
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