Forever in our hearts,
GONE, but never FORGOTTEN...
R.I.P & LOVE Papa
August 7, 1937- November 2, 2002
It's been 7 yrs and 7 months since you passed away, since you left us. It's been 7 yrs and 7 months since I've long to be with you. 7 yrs and 7 months since I've had this emptiness deep inside. Till this day I still can't believe you're gone. I'm still in that denial stage. I don't think I will ever snap out of it. Thinking back to that day, brings tears to my eyes like if it was just yesterday. I miss you in many ways it's hard for me to even express the feeling. Sometimes I feel like I can't go on.. I can't breathe always grasping for air. Everyday I long for your presence, voice, touch, smell, smile; wishing you were still here with us.
You were the ROCK in our family. You were the STRENGTH that pushed us to finish. Your LOVE brought us together, the kind of LOVE everyone needed through our hard times. You were PEACE to many rough roads we went through.
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Ever since you left our family fell apart. Everyone went they're own separate ways. Ever since you left it feels like the love our family once had for one another isn't there anymore. Uncles & aunties don't have that brotherly/ sisterly bond they use to have when growing up .It breaks my heart to see Us like this. It breaks my heart to know that we once had it but now it's all gone. The bad thing about it all is that as much I try to get our family back together, I can't! It just seems like it gets worst & worst. Everyone has too much Pride!
Somtimes I tell myself there's no POINT, no HOPE, NOTHING. In they're eyes, it's either I'm disrespecting them or they're favorite line they always tell me "Tia, you don't understand." I mean what is there to not understand? ugh- it annoys me so much how they just think of themselves & not the grandkids. How selfish can they get.. TRUTHFULLY, it's not ME who don't understand. It's THEM! They don't understand that their ways/ actions affects us grandkids tremendously . We might not show it but deep down inside it hurts.
Once in a while us cousin's get together & pour out our feelings to one another. We talk about everything & anything, but most of all the situation our family is in. WHAT IF PAPA WAS STILL ALIVE? WILL OUR FAMILY BE LIKE THIS? WHY CAN'T EVERYONE JUST GET A LONE? IS IT JUST OUR FAMILY IN THIS SITUATION? These are the questions we ask eachother.
Through all the chaos... No matter what, we stay together as one. We support one another. We know one of these days, (we don't know when but, eventually) our family will see how grateful us cousin's are for eachother and come together as a FAMILY again.
IT HURTS GRANDPA. I NEED YOU. WE ALL NEED YOU!
I know in my heart that this is a Big test for our family. I know heavenly Father took you away from us to prove He only takes the best & to test how strong our FAITH is. I know your in a BETTER place looking down on us. Free from all the sickness & suffering you were in. The day God called you home you didn't go alone, part of us went with you. I just want to let you know that I love and miss you dearly. All I can do is wish and think about the special memories we shared. Think about the things I could've said to you when you were here & cherish them close to my heart. I know one of these days we will see eachother again, but for now you will always be a part of me. I will always carry you in my heart forever, YOU WILL ALWAYS BE THE #1 GRANDFATHER IN MY LIFE. I LOVE YOU ALWAYS & FOREVER...
One thing I loved about his earthly presence is that all of his children took his word as final. So when he made a decision, there was no more discussion or persuasion, everyone dissolved their differences or disagreements to support his choice, right or wrong. It made the family one.
ReplyDeleteI feel like you older cousins are on the right track. I share this scripture w u bcas I know I need to apply and embrace it the most...charity never faileth.
'charity suffers long, is kind, envies not, is not puffed up, seeks not her own, is not easily provoked, thinks no evil, rejoices not in iniquity but rejoices in the truth, bears all things, believes, hopes, endures all things...
wherefore, my beloved brethren, if have not charity, ye are nothing, for charity never faileth. wherefore, cleave unto charity, which is the greatest of all, for all things must fail [including money, religious differences, addictions] - " Moroni 7
honestly, I would bring my kids around if I knew about stuff. so keep posting info, you know? like games, birthdays, special events k? don't give up k? think charity and know that if your love stays pure w no intention but to keep the ties alive, u will see the results!
one more thing: get ur family history going ... nothing will bring everyone closer like knowing they are a part of something and HOW they are a part of that something.
enuf blah blah blah right?